America has been following actress Lindsay Lohan’s saga unfold over the past few months. She’s been in and out of jail and rehab following her arrest for a DUI in 2007. After 13 days in jail and 23 days in a California rehabilitation center, Lohan was found with cocaine in her system and sent back to jail once again.
She is now out on bail, and apparently checked into rehab again on Monday.
To many, it is obvious that the troubled starlet is battling addiction, one she can’t seem to get under her control. She also shows classic signs of a person who is out of control: loss of money, loss of friends, uncontrollable emotions, inability to stop using drugs even when threatened with jail time and until recently, denial that she has a problem.
Maybe Lohan’s story is familiar to you. Maybe you have dealt with a friend who can’t control his or her alcohol intake, or can’t break a drug habit that may have evolved, over time, into addiction.
As a friend, you may feel helpless to do anything about your loved one’s problems. Maybe you pull away from him or her because it’s too difficult to deal with the situation, or maybe you try to take care of your friend to prevent her from getting hurt or even killed while under the influence.
But there are things you can do to help a close friend who is facing addiction. The website DrugFree.org has some tips for how to begin a conversation with a friend who is battling drugs. Keep in mind that most people don’t enjoy conflict, particularly with someone we care about. It’s important to consider how you say something along with deciding what to say. Our words are very powerful, especially to our best friends and loved ones. If you are discussing a serious topic, such as drug and alcohol use, with a close friend you should keep the following points in mind:
Privacy. No one likes their dirty laundry exposed. Discuss important issues in a private place where no one is likely to overhear the details of your conversation.
Positive Messages. Always remember to include some type of positive message before or after expressing an opinion that a friend might perceive as “critical.” This will help to remind them that you are expressing yourself out of care and concern. For example, “You are my best friend and one of my favorite people on the planet. But I feel like your drug use is changing the person I know and love.” If you’re not the type that can express these types of feelings easily, think about sending an e-card or writing an old-fashioned handwritten note.
Research. Read up on whatever topic you might be discussing with a friend or sibling in need. A little research and specific examples go a long way in discussing tough issues.
Solutions. No one likes it when a person points out a problem but doesn’t offer a solution. Even if a solution isn’t clear, you can still recommend that your friend talk to a caring adult or health professional. The point you will have made is that you’ve come to the table with suggestions and ideas for how to improve the situation.
There is no way to predict how your friend will act, especially if they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Common sense tells us that helping a friend address a drug or alcohol problem early can help keep it from getting out of control and doing serious harm. This is why it is important to step up and talk with your friend sooner rather than later – you never know what could happen if he or she continues to drink or do drugs.
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